Author: NAKIRAYI RITA MUKAAYA

I always break when I see flowers and bees crying over broken hearts because of entering a gaseous relationship. It tears me apart when they already knew that the thing won’t hold for a moment but they will still try to pick up the broken pieces to put it together. Should I say solidfying it. The relationship is broken even before you go for it. But why are they so blinded ,they forget you can never take shelter in a roofless house. I only know one thing, intimacy is a true definition of a relationship.

Intimacy in relationships is key issue. Use your dating time to grow a friend not a lover. Most people believe intimacy is developed through sex especially in this quick world but these people just scracth the surface of it, it is deeper than that. This generation is very impatient and being part of it,it hurts me that we forget our values.Intimacy involves sharing inner most thoughts,desires,dreams and oneness in spirit. Its true that you maybe in the same room but in two different worlds just like being miles apart but together at heart.Before you continue dating,do you have purpose?Or you are doing it because all your friends are dating.We all know dating is preparing for marriage ,well if your dating for fun you had better quit . One should remember that people never change, all those small silly habits you can’t bear during dating will carry on to marriage. You either have to appreciate and embrace them or not trying a marriage if you cant stand them. Intimacy develops like a zygote in the woman’s womb, it has no short cut, not even sex can make you intimate. Remember you need a friend ,sex gets boring . You really need a life partner.

Someone will ask,”how ” well the first step towards intimacy is to take off attention from you, put aside your fear and shyness there you will learn to listen to your partner, understand their fears,joys,pain among others. You should walk in agreement with your friend ,don’t mind the little fights. They always happen,for as long as he/she still loves you even when you fight. Disagree in agreement.

Truth be told,being single is peaceful but as you prepare to date,put it at the back of your mind that you don’t need to date when you really crave for it. Seek the spirit of God first then other things happen without your knowledge , God is in control.

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I dont know what is wrong with me, cant understand why my tongue is too heavy to say it. Maybe I just don’t know when my lips should say it,truth is the word hides deep in my heart ,i always say it in my mind but ,the tongue ! Atleast I know my tongue lightens when the one infront of me is calm, the tongue will quickly say “am sorry” .Well,those words never sound when the person I wronged is burning with anger ,the devil in me tells me to find defence. Truthfully there is a soft quiet voice that always say” Its just a word, say it”Unfortunately this voice is always over powered. The word just solves everything yet my tongue becomes heavier than lead to say it. I pray i say it.

“Just a word ” you may say. Till time comes when u feel the pain that comes due to failure of saying it. God!!! ,that pain comes from beyond the deepest of the heart, it burns like hot iron.It will keep u burning and when you look at the face you once angered , You will feel like mountain lava has been added to the melting iron in your heart.

As simple as it looks , sometimes it gets hard to say ‘sorry’ and really mean it.We have to be careful in our actions inorder not to cut a poor figure.

Sacrifice is at the heart of repentance. Saying sorry without thinking about it because you want to move on is as good as adding salt to the wound. This waters down to the value of the word. A true and sincere sorry offers real regret and remorse for our actions. It means acknowleging our faults, its a relief.It can build a deeper and trusting relationship.SORRY is a word which can transfrom the clumsiest moment into a gracious gift.

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She is a very talkative person but has never had anyone to talk to. She talks loudly alone answering questions she asks herself. This gathers other children all around her.

They come to laugh because to them it is hilarious to question and answer yourself.she thinks it fine for them to laugh ,it is the only way she interacts with the rest, the only way to have a peace of mind and looking at their wrinkled faces laughing and happy is her joy and happiness.

Her heart lightens when the morn comes, she runs faster than a cheetah to reach the school gate where she sits and talks alone ,bubbling like an insane person. This is her only joy. Yah she gathers a large crowd all around her but has never trusted all around her. Because all around her betrayed her before.

When its you who always breaks the silence. You just feel rejected. When your pounding heart cannot even feel the gaps in it. When you know you ain’t treated right and you cant explain what treating right means. You just always feel abandoned like deepest darkness.

Then you remember your poor mother, thinking of the pain she holds just for you. Toiling day and night to bring you endless happiness. well,it HURTS most when you can’t save her from that misery in which she swims because of you. It hurts when all you can say is “am just a child”.And you know she will alway light all your stars.

Its brutally painful thinking you were born on the wrong side of the sea.

Sometimes the pain is sweet. Just let it hurt .It really hurts

Well its simple, we are not the master planners of our lives. There is a supreme being above all.😉will first talk about the pandemic , i first had about it but being in campus coz we stay in, i never took it serious. I thought it was another joke till i stepped out and everywhere you u have to sanitize. Well that day i almost drunk the sanitizer because even after sanitising u hv to do it again and again. Before the this, we all had plans to do different things and pain of letting the plans pass. Well i know it, i kinda still feel it. O God its more painful than giving birth😖. Then the other thing is planning for the unknown, I thank God that am covered this entire period,hv not lacked anything. But i know there are people out there who didn’t plan,its not their fault. Right now some people are about to eat themselves in their houses. May the Lord guide and provide for them. Another is trusting yourself ,well guess Ugandans have realised that we dont need those Super powers to be fine, we just need God. The use of togetherness . And most especially, have learnt that there is a connection in the disconnection. Well at this time we are all far from each other but there is a stronger bond that is created. Someone has to understand this, even when am miles away i still see u. Lastly we all need purification, we all need God . I love u all. Stay safe

Books you love and why

Well, I earlier told you that am not a great reader but i have books I love. 1) The first daughter ,a novel by a Ugandan author Gorretti Kyomuhendo. I love this book passionately because it actually defines a woman, a girl and a mother. Well its about a young village girl whoes father struggles to take to school but as a girl she disappoints everyone. Kasimire struggled and built the woman in her. Even when all were against her, she stood as one to protect her son.In the end she proved to the entire village that a woman’s work place isnt the kitchen. This book also talks to parents especially fathers , to try and understand their children. It redefines women in contemplary Africa. Kasemire’s endurance ,courage, determination is a lesson to all ladies. 2)Heart of the matter by Greene. Just loved the title even before reading it “The heart” O God 😍its just right. It is a book of moral crisis for Henry Scobie. Trying to mend his religious life , it is full of dilemas. Well I just picked one line on page 254 where father Rank said” The church knows the rules , but it doesnt know what goes on in a single human heart” Well i loved the way Greene shows us the mysteries of life, that hearts are just hidden. “The heart” 2)The River between by Ngugi Wathiongo. The protagonist Waiyaki is caught up between his destiny as the direct descendant of a seer and must therefore lead the village as well as being a young man who abtained education and in love with Nyambura the christian daughter of Joshua. He actally tries to blend christianity and culture. The women in the book barely have a voice, but the girls determined wilful and courageous try to use their emotional intelligence to be what they want to be. Muthoni chooses circumcision to become beautiful in the tribe.Well it is a simple book but deeply complex with a lyrically beautiful story. I also love the romance in it, the love stands against all odds.” I love you Nyambura” And the way the author chooses his settings, this book is just magical. O well, this is alito…

20 facts about you.

Well this is a little challenging, I personally feel insecure when a person knows more than five things about me. The insecurity because nothing in this wide world compels me to trust humans.

I spend 90% of my day thinking about me. I always get a moment in the night to analyse whatever happened in the day, how good it was or the pain in the day. Just love thinking for i believe it helps me grow.

They say “writers are great readers” Well its a different story with me, I just love writing ,thats all. I dont do alot of reading. I write what comes to my head ,or should i say what i feel,99.8% of what i write is about me. I write what my physical being cant express and what makes it special for me is that i write what is at the exact center of my heart.

The other thing is that ,i never feel understood by anybody, it seems each person has a different view of who i am. But anyway its ok with me. 🤔And OMG i hate shouting at me,should i call it barking mmmh I brutally hate it with all my not only heart but lungs too.

Now I hate men,well not all. Talking about the chauvinistic men who think women are their doormats, those with a beastly character who make me feel like a jungle is a better place for me. There these so called gentlemen, i mean a gentleman is not only physical smart but also smart in brain and respects a woman. In adddition to that, i really despise ladies who fight hard to put a woman down. O God i talk alot, i know this but tend to be silent most times. In the same way, small things can bring a brilliant smile on my face and it can bring piercing tears on my cheeks. Am highly emotional but cant just show it to anybody. And some people say am proud, well am sure pride is a good trait but the level matters.

Finally, i love watching catoons, love sweets(lolipop).And truth is I love my dad more than anything in this world.

Why do you write?

Sometimes ,I feel like telling somebody everything that happens to me. But we all know that nobody can keep a dark secret for years. Most times I feel exceedingly lonely,like a motherless child, a lonely bee yet i hv people around me. I feel like am in the middle of the sea without help, far away from an Island. I always feel am on my own ,I therefore make the pen and paper my bestie.

I always feel people in the world never understand, they judge even without reason. And worst of all they all perish. Well am always sure my pen and journal can never be like human. They understand when you talk, i mean write.

The need to keep a story of my life for even when I perish,am sure it will inspire a woman and any person. Well I write because I want to bring out all things that lie buried deep in my heart. I feel better after talking to my besties. Pen and paper

This land, where shines the moon and the sun. The only land where we belong as one ,only one, Filled with laughter and at timed tears , We have hope but also exist in fears , On this one land where we belong as onhie though sometimes divided.